I am a survivor. I didn’t always see myself as a survivor. I used to be confused, scared, hurt, depressed… the adjectives are never-ending. I didn’t know what was happening to me or around me. Most of the abuse and harassment were cyberattacks, not even under his name. Most of it had no name attached, some came from names of…
Kids can be brutally honest. They share with the world (loudly) the imperfections about ourselves we work so hard to hide – “Mommy, your roots are getting black!” or “Your belly is round and big like mine.” All of it to a child is just innocently voicing an observation, not meant in malice but wanting to be part of a…
What has happened for too long is an abomination that cannot be ignored. George Floyd’s murder was like a strong gust of wind that fueled our country’s already smoldering issues of control, humiliation, oppression, abuse, and murder. There are so many parallels between domestic violence and #BlackLivesMatter – they are both about oppressor’s control and both about a lack of…
I am a planner. Having been subjected to domestic abuse and having to put a safety plan in place (more than once), I am one that is always looking into the future, playing through as many potential scenarios as possible, planning for worst-case scenarios, then living for the best. With so many news outlets now talking about the rise in…
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Gale King interviewed Harvey Weinstein‘s attorney, Donna Rotunno on CBS News (9/17/2019 – https://youtu.be/LKBmwe6kWAo) where they talked about the case and the victims involved. One specific part of the conversation made me stop what I was doing and listen intently. Rotunno spoke about how every potential victim has a choice. It may not be a decision that has the outcome…
#MeToo encourages people to publicly voice their stories of harassment and abuse, but social media can lure victims into a false sense of security as a safe and protected space. It’s important the legal rules be plainly explained to avoid costly consequences that may push victims back into the shadows again, or worse, victimize them with a double-edged sword –…
When a victim recounts their abuse, they often face an uphill battle of doubt and unbelievability. If studies show that 81% of females and 43% of males face harassment, abuse, and/or assault in their lifetime1, why is it so hard for us to believe them? I was being abused on a regular basis as a kid and it escalated throughout…
Recently I read Monica Hesse’s Washington Post article, “Dear dads: Your daughters told me about their assaults. This is why they never told you.” and found it extremely insightful. In fact, it made me wonder if we as survivors, we’re not hindering our own path to change. Now, before you start getting upset and calling me insensitive, I want you…
With the recent allegations against the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, I have heard repeatedly the question of why she did not come out sooner and tell her story. Doubt, blame, and re-victimization from our own President fuels others to bring into question the validity of accusers. This is not new and, for those who have not experienced sexual abuse,…
